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LEPER KING
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 18:10    Post subject: STORM-troops stomp out the Pleasure planet Vokosan Reply with quote

PNT reporter Arrr has just received more video of the orbital bombardment and planet of the regions pleasure planet Vokosan. The pleasure planet has no mining, factory production, taxation, or planet defence system. The attacking STORM fleet orbited the planet and conducted two days of orbital bombardment. We have just received a smuggled out tape of eunich "storm" troops forcing a morphid mother to give a forced statement about the conditions on the bombarded Vokosan planet. [video swings around showing a morphid mother infront of a microphone and behind the interviewer eunich "storm" troopers pointing guns at the children and husband] "The kind STORM solders came to our planet and freed us from a life of bondage. We are feed well and given free medical care." states the female morphid. [Then you hear laughing from the eunich "storm" troopers and they shoot the hostages and female morphid] "Good interview team, edit the tape for the general broadcast", states the STORM trooper interviewer.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 18:23    Post subject: FIRST BLOOD Reply with quote

A reco mission for parts shows a undefended H11 over a rich planet. Leper King leans over to study the plans and pixs of his next tasty acqired parts. And the unthinkable happens, his left eye falls out of his head on to his desk. Slowly rolls around on his desk top and stops in the middle of the plans. "These cheap Tremor parts!" states the Leper King. The Leper King leans over to put the lost eye back into his eye socket and he stops. Looks closely at the pix of the H11 with his one eye and yells. "FROG get in here! FROG slithers into the chamber of power and stops at the desk. FROG, look at this pix of the H11 and the lone eye looking at FROG. "Yes my lord, it is a H11, and FROG snickers..." No, have you lost your sight, FROG. Take a closer look, states the Leper King. FROG looks closer at the recon pix of the H11 and to his surpise in the command section is a Tremor advisor next to the H11 commander! FROG, bring in Dr.Acular... FROG snickers.... yes my lord and steps out of the chamber of power. Hmmmm....... sweat eye ball tasty..... [FROG took the lone eye]
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 18:38    Post subject: FIRST BLOOD part 2 Reply with quote

Dr.Acular walks into the chamber of power and notes the Leper King look for something on this desk. Yes, Dr.Acular. Good to see you. Please look at the recon pixs of the H11 command section and you will see a Tremor advisor. I wish you to attack the H11 Dr.Acular and gather parts. Dr.Acular does not say anything and walks out of the chamber of power. To the fighters, I have first Blood! states DrAcular. The star pilots jump into there fighers and launch.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 19:03    Post subject: FIRST BLOOD part 3 Reply with quote

The LEPERKINGs Warplanet slips though space with a big smiling yellow face painted on a large white sheet in the front of the warplanet. The words found below the friendly face stating, "FRIENDS TO ALL". At the helm of the warplanet is Mad Monk Mikey eating MnM's and drinking a cold PBR with manservant FROG talking to himself.... tremor on a stick.... hmm..... The warplanet approaches the planet MYNONARO. "RAISE THE FLAG FROG" states Mad Monk! Yes, fryer states FROG as FROG snickers. A pirate flag goes up with one exception?! There are two silver forks in place of the bones!! At the same time the smiling friendly face to all is removed and the smiling joker face is in view to all! Then.... you can hear the music of Hall of the Mountain King being played to the planet MYNONARO and the H11 as the attack begins. Dr.Acular states, FIRST BLOOD IS MINE and runs to this attack ship. Dr.Acular orders the hords to swarm the the H11 and make them food and parts. Dr.Acular hits the H11 first and destoys the command section! Bodies fly out of the command section and Dr.Acular smilies... harpooning the live Tremor advisor and drawing him close to the ship. The horror on the Tremors face gives him joy as he bits into his neck! "Taste like dog...." Dr.Acular states, "dog....."
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 20:58    Post subject: Provisional Government of the Pirate Republic (GPPR) Reply with quote

Leper King siting behind his desk in the chamber of power looking at the two black boots and legs to just above the knees... smoking above the knees..... no body.... just two legs and they are smoking above the knees.... The guard from the jail house just brought them in. Hmmm... "FROG get in here", I'm sure FROG that toad had something to do with this! states the Leper King. FROG walk in and stands next to the smoking boots/legs and snickers. Yes, my master how can I be of service? Well, FROG it seems the STORM planet governer of the planet we just took back has lost his body. FROG looks at the two boots and snickers. Yes my master, the governer it seems is missing. The left eye of the Leper king starts to move on its own and FROG follows the random moving eye... (FROG thinks a tasty is coming my way!) FROG! did you have anything to do with this? No my master!! Well, FROG go down to the flight deck and talk to B-FART as he is the commander of the jail. FROG walks past the smoking boots and snickers... [flight deck] On the flight deck Mad Monk (fryer) is showing B-FART how to shotgun a 6 pack of PBR. FROG glad to see you! states the fryer. Would you like to have a PBR, FROG? We are testing out a new weapon, FROG! We are going to cook something would you like to join us? Oh yes fryer as I am a little hungry. Go ahead and eat a peach B-FART and shotgun this 6 pack of PBR my boy! FROG eyes get big as he watchs B-FART shotgun the PBRs... now bend over my boy and point your ass at the test subject. FROG looks at the STORMtrooper standing at the end of the runway. Ok B-FART fart at the nice stormtrooper... fryer looks at FROG and smiles and takes out his bic lighter and flicks the lighter?! A nice clean flame hits the hugh gas coming from B-FARTS ass. FROG and fryer looks down at the nice stormtrooper and this hugh flame comes forth from B-FARTs ass and takes out the stormtrooper just above the knees.... FROG and fryer fall to the flight deck in laughter as the stormtrooper screems from the horable smell and trys to run away and is destroyed in a hugh flame. FROG stands up and looks around for B-FART... fryer where is B-FART? They both turn around and see B-FART 200 feet down the runway with rug burns all over his face and body. They inturn walk down to the smoking legs.. FROG offers fryer the first taste.. Hmm... needs something FROG, FROG taste test and agrees... salt... other wise its not bad for dog!
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:17    Post subject: GPPR Reply with quote

Leper King yells into the house speaker, "Frog turn up the X-mas music for all! Light the yull log, Mad Monk Mikey! I've been good this year and presents await for all! I'm turning in and await my X-mas gifts in the morning!! Mad Monk and Frog you have the helm." The Leper King puts out a plate of MOR-cookies and a nice tall glass of milk for Santa Klaus just before he turns in for the nite. [Once again FROG and Mad Monk at the helm of the warplanet?!] FROG snickers.... and hands Mad Monk a PBR and a bag of M&M's. Well, Mad Monk we have a lot of work to do states FROG. Yes FROG, we do says Mad Monk as he taps and opens his cold one. They have a new arm for there master the LeperKing.. It's about a 3 feet to long and the wrong color. Mad Monk looks at FROG and states, FROG are you sure on this?! Oh yes, Mad Monk and FROG snickers.... He will be walking on his knuckles! They both laugh and wrap the TREMOR arm up. Look Mad Monk, I have this fine gift for SJET the Leperking next wife. Are you mad, FROG?! The last time you sent something to SJET she cut off our master tool! FROG snicker.... yes, lets revisit that moment. The PieRat Hotel was a gift to to make up for my short coming, Mad Monk. But the eunich STORMtrooper stop that plan... FROG snickers.... let leave a note by the milk and MOR-cookies stating its from the SJET! Yes, FROG thats a great idea for this holiday....
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 08:50    Post subject: THE FALLEN, planet Vokosan Reply with quote

PNT (pirate news today) female reporter Arrr walks the freed pleasure planet Vokosan from eunich STORMtroopers. She is looking to find and interview rumored Cpt Walker D Plank. Walking the dusty streets amongest dirty smelly begging kids she comes across BOOGER, a smelly dirty kid cleaning a small dagger. "kid, know where I can find Cpt Walker D Plank?" ask reporter Arrr. Aye me proud beauty, for a EU i'll take you to him (wial picking his nose), states Booger. Reporter Arrr gives BOOGER a EU and BOOGER flicks a sticky big green booger at her forehead and runs stating, "Hornswoggled thar wench! Gangway! Gangway!! Reporter Arrr not taking kindly to being taken runs after the dirty smell kid and steps into a darkly lighted bar.... BOOGER standing next Cpt Walker D Plank and Cpt Peg Leg Greavous. Avast EU BOOTY my bucko BOOGER, a fine Cpt you will make some day, states Cpt Walker D Plank. Aye Aye, a fine manservant states Cpt Peg Leg Greavous as they look at the shinney EU. Both agree fine treasure this is..... Reporter Arrr states, thats my EU that smelly kid took from me. Cpt Walker D Plank and Cpt Peg Leg Greavous look at BOOGER and smile agreeing that BOOGER is just like his thieving pirate father FROG. Cpt Peg Leg Greavous orders "waterboy, (Booger) go and get us drink"..... BOOGER snickers......
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 22:06    Post subject: THE FALLEN, planet Vokosan Reply with quote

Waterboy Booger blows into his hands and rolls the dice. The dice roll his way and Booger wins! "Winner winner chicken dinner", states Booger as he picks his nose. Two well groomed Girl Scouts walk Booger to/with the Sjet Hotel in the seedy side of Vokosan City. Smelly boy, it will be 3 EU's for a two hour room states the Inn keeper of Hotel Sjet. The two Girl Scouts lean over to the inn keeper, "Sir this is suger daddy FROGs kid and could weeeee have a room for six hours! Pleaseeeee, with suger on top! Both Girl Scouts lean over showing cleavage. The Inn keeper smiles, Ok. This time for old time sake for suger daddy FROG. The inn keeper puts Waterboy Booger into room 69 and just over the bed is a painting of a almost nude Sjet looking at you smiling. Waterboy Booger snickers......
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 22:40    Post subject: THE FALLEN, planet Vokosan Reply with quote

BOOGER was at the bar getting drinks for Cpt Walker D Plank when all of a sudden BOOGER drops to the floor grabing his ears...... the bottle drops to the floor. Every one at the bar stops and looks at BOOGER on the floor in pain. "Boy" whats got into yer?! asked Cpt Walker D Plank. The pain in my ears.... states BOOGER. Boogers two girl scouts lean over giving care to Booger. Them there evil LOCUST (Paul Atreides and Thaumaturg) are back, states Cpt Arrr Matty. Both Cpt Arrr Matty and Cpt Walker D Plank look at each other, and shout orders. Then quietly help BOOGER up, you got the gift of suger daddy FROG my boy. Take BOOGER to the safe house orders Cpt Walker! Them there evil LOCUST got a tasten for FROG legs and looks like there on the hunt.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 20:07    Post subject: THE FALLEN: Pleasure planet Vokosan Reply with quote

Pirate reporter Arrr shows a long shot of starcaptains getting into small star fighters to take on the evil LOCUST. (BOOGERS two girl scouts lean into him wishing BOOGER victory.) Today a transmission was received from Homeworld that the evil LOCUST (Storm/Thaumaturg/Paul Atreides) hords are attacking and many systems have fallen. Home world economy has colapsed as forced removal of goods continues by the continual attacks and orbatal bombardment of warplanet, planets, and homeworld. Planet Vokosan government has gone into underground. LOCUST overlords have raised the taxation rate and forced the population into labor. Thousand die by the day from the hands of the evil LOCUST on the pleasure planet Vokosan. The Leperking warplanet (with out support!) attacked a class 3 world of the hated gonad stealing STORMtrooper! But failed to take the planet after a brutal long battle! The evil LOCUST are using the universal baned class 12 lazers and torps on the house MORCOOKIES (leperking) assets.
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Paul_Atreides
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 15:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Red Duke smiled as he watched the Pirate News channel. LeperKing believes that class 12 lasers and torpedoes are banned? This explains why one of our expendable automated scout Goliath ships was able to destroy Leper's giant Leviathan and capture his Warplanet. This expedition had been necessary because the pirates had refused to learn that attacking Templar worlds results in punishment. While it was perhaps unnecessary to send an entire fleet against a rather insignificant annoyance, the constant loss of planets required a response. These pirates are only capable of capturing undefended worlds. When a Warplanet is in the area, they run, for their ships are crewed by degenerate brigands, not military troops, and they are equipped with water pistols instead of laser cannons.

The coordinated, sustained peacekeeping action against the pirates is going well. The age of pirates is over. Professional naval forces render them obsolete.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 22:19    Post subject: THE FALLEN: fighting the LOCUST Reply with quote

The pirate star captain of the ship System Defender H8 walks with the flight deck commander. "Commander, the fighers await your inspection." states the flight deck commander. "Commander?" states the pirate star captain. Yes sir, your the top ranking star captain on deck or for that matter the planet, sir states the flight deck commander. Hmm.... Who was the starcaptain who flew the 10ly star fighters with refuges to home world? Starcaptain BOOGER, sir. He linked them, rather smart move i'd say sir. Where is he now? A save house on planet recovering from the first home world fleet action. The commander walk on deck and every starcaptain of the H1 starfighters come to attention with right hand grabing there nutcup and shake it twice then turning there heads left and couph! Then come back into attention. "As you know our LEPERKING is fighting the good fight at home world attacking the evil insect LOCUST countless times. The last fight with the LOCUST the LEPERKING with a damaged H11 and warplanet almost destroyed the attacking forces. As you know the evil insect LOCUST use baned LV 12 weopens and do not take captives. (the commander puts on the skull and bones/forks scarf) May your raids bring wine, woman, and gold" the commander walks off to his H8. The 100 H1 figher fleet shout "first blood" and go to there death defending the homeworld.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 21:49    Post subject: THE FALLEN, Boogers new ship, the SQUEEGEE Reply with quote

Cpt BOOGGER leans out of his starship window to clean off the bug guts on the starship window?! "Darn Bugs, muck everything up, eat everything in sight, and starts using his squeegee to clean off LOCUST parts.. The maintance work comes by to paint the name of the starship under the starship door and window. "What name do you want to have for the ship? Cpt? states the maintance worker to BOOGGER... Boogger doesnt hear the worker and starts cursing and says, Darn squeegee, bug guts.... The maintance worker paints SQUEEGEE under BOOGGERs starship window and two LOCUST worlds kills.
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 22:55    Post subject: THE FALLEN, Boogers new ship, the SQUEEGEE Reply with quote

The maintance worker paint two more LOCUST worlds on Cpt BOOGGERS starship, the SQUEEGEE! BOOGGERS two girl scouts lean into him and say sugardaddy FROG would have been proud of BOOGGER! Hornswaggol LOCUST planets and taking there wine, woman, and gold!!
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BLACK_BEARD
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 20:35    Post subject: THE FALLEN, Booggers new ship, the SQUEEGEE Reply with quote

Leperking shouts orders, raise the colors! (the pirate flag is raised with laser holes and torn corner in the skull and bones (forks) flag) The Thaumaturg Templars (LOCUST) are one LY away! Aim weopons as this is going to be a tight manuver matty! [the two warplanets pass with in one LY from each other] Arrrr, trickied the stiff neck standing tall LOCUST warcaptain as we take more LOCUST wine, woman, and gold! BOOGGER snickers.... as he picks his nose. My sugardaddy FROG stood here, right here! My momma told me I'd be just as good as he. BOOGGER lifts the Leperkings EU-gold purse right from him as he shouts orders?! BOOGGERS two girls scouts look at each other, smiling, knowing there are going to get lucky to night as BOOGGER got hotel money!
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